"This is asinine," grumbled Starscream as he looked at the image on the computer screen in front of him.

It looked like this: [Link]

"Why do I have to waste my time labelling the same images in a hundred different files?" Starscream complained.

Soundwave—the only other Decepticon in the control center—looked up from his computer across the room. Even the serene Soundwave couldn’t get any work done with Starscream’s incessant whining. Soundwave said, mildly, "Why don’t you tell me why you think you are in here labelling those images instead of out on patrol with the others?"

Starscream scowled. "Because Megatron’s a sadist."

Soundwave’s visor glimmered ever so briefly and Starscream thought twice of his words. "Let me try again," the Air Commander muttered, gritting his jaw. "Skywarp, Thundercracker and I were out on patrol when we saw an Earth vehicle driving down the road. It was yellow, round, and looked a lot like Bumblebee, so I opened fire on it. It wasn’t Bumblebee, but who really cares, right? We can always use the target practice."

Soundwave said, "Current Decepticon energy reserves are below fifty percent due to increasingly aggressive Autobot activity. Waste of energy through unnecessary usage of lasers is inadvisable at this time."

"Then Megatron should have told me that…"

"Announcement is posted on the DeceptiWeb Network which all personnel should view daily."

Great. Answering Soundwave’s question—which made him feel like a new creation, and he was certain that Megatron was doing it on purpose, infantalizing him as punishment—was suddenly less irritating than pursuing that line of argument.

"Anyway, after I blew up the Volkswagen, Skywarp and Thundercracker got into this "I can shoot up more cars than you" game, and I figured that if we caused a big wreck on the interstate, we could go hit the power station on the Heights and the Autobots wouldn’t bother us, because you and I both know there’s no way they’d drive around all those wrecked human cars when they think there’s a way they could help their precious humans. Perfect sense, right? So I let Skywarp and Thundercracker have their fun. Only then the jets show up.

"I see them coming at us head-on, and from that angle there’s no way to tell if it’s an Aerialbot or a regular jet."

"You could have checked your scanners."

"Who cares? All I know is, it isn’t squawking a Decepticon signature and that makes it a fair target. So I radio the others—at this point we’re sort of split up, though still in visual contact.

"Skywarp’s closer to the visitors than I am, and he can see that they’re human jets from the air force base. So he decides he’s going to mess with them, do that thing where he flies inverted overtop of them and lets them see there’s nobody in his cockpit. So it’s his own fault, really. If he’d been shooting instead of goofing off…"

"This conversation is threatening to veer off topic."

"Yeah, yeah. I don’t care if they’re human jets or Aerialbots—whatever they are, they’ll look a lot better scattered across the landscape. So I pop a few heat-seeking missiles and cruise along to watch the fireworks. Then Skywarp, the idiot, flies straight into my line of fire."

"Did you warn him you were firing?"

"Did he take a minute to think that flying around next to the enemy isn’t a safe place to be? No. Because he’s stupid. I don’t see how that’s my problem.

"Skywarp, the idiot, was flying overtop of the lead jet, inverted, and suddenly he looks up and the whole sky is missiles. And that’s why Skywarp’s in the repair bay, the end…can I quit now?"

"And why is Thundercracker in the repair bay?"

"Because he and Skywarp are a pair of…"

It was really amazing how Soundwave did that, Starscream thought, a mechanism with no visible face or optics somehow managing to convey completing that sentence is inadvisable with a mere glimmer of his visor.

Starscream sighed, "You’re not going to believe "because Thundercracker wanted to keep his dearest darling Skywarp company," are you?"

"I believe that Thundercracker was justified in his statement that you were careless in your use of missiles. Not only must we now expend energy on repairs and creation of parts, not only have we lost the services of two able warriors until Thundercracker and Skywarp are repaired, but your lack of concern for the welfare of fellow Decepticons is disturbing."

"Thundercracker didn’t need to open his big mouth and undermine my authority."

"At that point, who was there to hear?"

"So it’s okay when Megatron slaps me around, but if I slap Thundercracker, I have to spend my day inside writing I will not punch my fellow Decepticons and This is Skywarp; this is a jet?"

"Putting Thundercracker in the repair bay is more than a slap, Starscream."

"Yeah, yeah." He added under his breath, "Thundercracker’s a woosie" as he put the last label on the last image file. "There, I’m done. At last. Can I go already?"

"You may begin your tasks in the repair bay."

"Fina…What?" Starscream was in the process of standing up and stretching when Soundwave’s words sunk in and he did a double take.

"Labelling those image files was Megatron’s punishment for your waste of energy and weapons resources. I believe I am owed something for my time spent fixing Thundercracker, and you owe him something for your unwarranted attack. As the Constructicons are currently busy on a building project for Megatron, you may spend the afternoon in the repair bay, tooling new spare parts to be held in reserve for any future injuries. Perhaps you may also find it in the goodness of your circuitry to apologize to Thundercracker for your…excessive punishment."

Starscream scowled. What he was going to find in the goodness of his circuitry was a way to get back at Soundwave and Megatron for this demeaning afternoon. Megatron would get his soon enough, when Starscream overthrew him and took command of the Decepticons. That would only be a matter of time. But Soundwave…

Starscream’s brain unit whirred in thought as he trudged down the corridor to the repair bay. Getting back at Soundwave was going to be tricky. It was hard to lie to a telepath. No, the trick to getting back at Soundwave was going to require tricking someone into doing something that Soundwave wouldn’t like, in a way that made the other mechanism think that it was all his idea. Then Starscream could sit back and watch the chaos ruin Soundwave’s entire day. That was easier said than done though and…

Starscream stopped dead in the corridor.

There, in one of the side rooms, was one of Megatron and Soundwave’s old devices. It was supposed to be some kind of "enlargement ray," the idea being that a zap from the ray would expand a mechanism’s particles and make them larger for a limited amount of time. Starscream remembered hearing about it and gleefully imagining the ability to stomp Autobots with his foot. Unfortunately, Soundwave and Megatron had never been able to make the thing portable. Instead of a ray gun, the enlargement ray was a gigantic forty-foot power bed with a box-like chamber on top.

Easy. It was all too easy.

Starscream walked into the room and flipped the enlargement ray’s switch to ON. Oops! Who knows how that might’ve happened?

After that, it was simply a matter of a few sprigs of catnip in the box-chamber and a little patience.

[Link]