Arcee slipped into the back room, hoping to find a little peace and quiet. It wasn’t an original though – Kup was already there, half slumped over the table. Either he’d slipped off for a little stasis nap or he’d nodded off in the middle of one of his stories. She could just about handle that kind of company. Moving quietly, she fetched herself some energon – there was still a lot of work to be done, but she needed to refuel in more ways than one. She turned around, surprised to find the old warrior watching her.

“Sorry Arcee, didn’t want to startle you! A bot can get in all kinds of trouble that way…”

“That’s okay, Kup.” She smiled, hoping she’d cut him off before he went off on some irrelevant tangent. “I hadn’t meant to disturb you. Just looking for a little quiet myself.”

“The lads are driving you buggy again, are they?”

Was it that obvious? She sighed, taking a seat. “Again…. Still.”

“Ahh, you’re all just young’uns – they’ll grow out of it.”

She supposed that was supposed to be reassuring, save that everyone was still young to Kup. “Yeah? When.”

Kup chuckled – maybe she hadn’t sounded as bitter as she’d intended. “Another few hundred years maybe? Don’t let it grind your gears too much. You three remind me of when I was young.”

She paused, glass halfway to her lips, and looked at him as though he had sprouted two extra heads. “What?”

“Oh sure! It wasn’t all Ick-Yaks and Servogators and Decepticons back in the day ya know! Those are just the stories the lads like to hear. When you’ve had a life as long as mine, you learn there’s more to it than just the fights…. Just don’t tell Grimlock.”

He winked, in that good-natured knowing way that signaled he was slipping in to full-blown story mode. Arcee was curious despite herself. She’d often wondered what other kinds of tales he might have to tell if anyone bothered to listen or ask, though this might not have been quite what she’d had in mind. She settled down – it was better than watching Hot Rod and Springer trying to one-up each other to impress her. As if. “So, when you were young… You were pretty popular?”

“Popular ain’t the half of it, lass. Did I ever tell you about the time I was posted on Vera-7Y7? I bet no – not much fighting to be done there. Which isn’t to say there wasn’t a lot of action, if ya catch my drift! That whole unit had some crazy dynamics. That was, lemme see… Laserstrike, Ionica, Steelblast, Thunderhead… Oh good times. ‘Strike and Ionica were inseparable most of the time – a good team, they were – but they weren’t exclusive. Sometimes they liked to spice things up and the three of us would go out. Steelblast was kind of a mess on his own, though – you know you get invested in someone when you look out for them that much, but we all looked out for Steelblast. The whole team was kind of invested. We were tight. Swore we’d stay together whatever came next, but the war had different plans, you know.”

Arcee wasn’t sure she was following exactly all the older bot was talking about. Or she was, but it just couldn’t be processing right. “That must have been… tough?” She grasped for an appropriate reaction.

“It was rough after we lost Ionica. Everything got all tense, and eventually we asked to be reassigned. I think Thunderhead and Laserstrike weren’t speaking for, oh, eons after wards. ‘Strike’s gone now too, damn the war, And Steelblast. Poor kid. Lost track of Thunderhead, mighta been on Nebulon last I head of him.” Kup shook his head. “Damn fine while it lasted. I had other liaisons, but nothing like the team.”

Liaisons? Maybe she was understanding properly. “So you were all romantically involved?”

“Sure were! All takin’ in the sights and hand holding, all the rest of it. The Vera system has some right pretty moons for setting the mood, if ya know what I mean.” He grinned. Or maybe leered. Arcee tried not to think about it too hard.

“And no one was jealous?”

“Not in that group, nah. Helps that the Verans were bugs – formed colonies that were all pretty tight. I’ve had, heck, even been, a jealous lover before though. I swear, Marlinspike would flirt with anyone just to get me going. Never trust a boat, is all I can say."

"Was it just the bots involved that were different? How come you all got along so well on Vera 7Y7?" If she could find a trick to make Hot Rod and Springer a little less competitive, if would make her life a lot easier. She wasn't convinced it was in their nature.

"It's partly the bots, I've found, but partly the environment. Like I said, Vera was all about the colony, so for us it was all about the team. Marlinspike and I, that was back on Zeegzicht, and there the natives were pretty much bonded at birth. Kinda creepy if you ask me. Still, 'all sentient life', as Prime would say... And I guess you gotta count your exes, ha!"

Arcee smiled. The bots out here might like think she was untouched territory, but she had a few miles on her odometer, so to speak. "How do you mean, the environment? The other cultures around?"

"That's just it!" The old bot jabbed the air with his finger. "Just a theory this jalopy here has put together after centuries of observation. But take earth, say. Have you ever looked at how the humans act? All posturing, competitive, exclusive, hung up on concepts like sex and gender that don't much matter to us, really. Your lads are just the same, as much as they can be. Humans are, or think they are, a one for one sort of match up. It's biological with them. One male, one female, and then you get the little ones."

"Like Daniel!" Spike had brought his tiny son around a few times to meet his 'giant godparents'. It was fascinating to see how different the small ones were from the adults, and yet to see how much of his parents were detectable in him.

"Yeah, but they might wanna trade him in for a less leaky model, if you ask me." Kup grinned. "Anyway - that's why they pair up. To make babies. It doesn't serve no purpose for us, though, so why worry about it?"

"That's what I keep thinking! Why do I have to choose at all? Of course they won't listen to me about it at all. They do, or can, at least, get along fairly well."

"...Yeah..." Kup grinned indulgently.

"Well, they could try!" Arcee threw up her hands. Sure that might be a bit of a stretch, but she was sure she could convince them, if they were actually willing to listen to her. They considered her reasonable and level headed (although that was not a challenge, comparatively) when discussing other topics, or making plans, or in any number of other situation, but as soon as she mentioned one's name to the other, they tuned her right out and suddenly found something else pressing to take care of. Hot Rod was worse , but only just barely.

"Maybe, maybe... Listen lass. The way I reckon things, you've got two options." He paused, considering. Arcee took the moment to reflect on the fact that she was getting love advice from Kup, and decided that she ought to take whatever came out of his mouth next with, as the humans might say, a large grain of sodium chloride. "Well, maybe three. Frist is - you can test my theory. See if you can't get assigned for a bit somewhere where the rules'll work a little more in your favour. 'Course then you gotta explain to someone just why you want the three of you to take off for a while to some hole like the one the Con's eventually left on Vera."

"Morale boosting exercises?" she suggested blandly. Watching Kup leer was... educational.

"Good one, good one. Option two is you play by human rules. I don't figure this one-on-one system flies for everyone here. There's some weird humans out there, and i could tell you some stories! So I figure there oughtta be some way to get what you want. Option three, now...:"

She braced herself, feeling suddenly over-educated.

"Option three is you forget those two turbo-revvin' young punks and hook yourself a real man with some experience! Someone whose been around the galaxy a bit and knows their way around a-"

"Thanks Kup." She cut him off, standing quickly to make her escape. "You've, ah, really given me something to think about."