Kickback here - This was originally written for Wayward's Bad Songfic Contest, but Wayward liked it too much and yanked it for her Deux Ex archive. Yes, she's got an ego on her, thank you for asking. The song is 'I'm With You' by Avril Lavinge. Now, here's Koi ...

The CR tank's fluid was warm and soothing on the cybervenom burns. Somewhere deep inside, Terrorsaur was dimly aware that the nagging burning pain was becoming soothed. Well, the pain in his body at least.

The pain in his spark nagged and burned on ...

Why does it have to be this way? Why do I have to be in love with you?

Slaggit, I'm not in love with you.

I won't love you.

I'm not that kind of mechanism.

I'm Art. You're ... hack work? From what you told me, whatever it is you are, wherever you came from, you're some kinda of parasite spirit. A marizu. A weak one.

Predacons despise weakness.

I'm not a Predacon either.

So you're a marizu, and I'm your ... victim? You've put your marizu spell on me and now I'm in love with you.

No matter how hard I try to deny it, I can't help it. You're a marizu - I have to love you ...

... and so does Waspinator.

Slag! Wasn't one of us enough? Oh yeah, you can't help it. It's just what the marizu do. Chew mechs like me and Waspy up and turn us into toys, into little puppets for your games. You mess with our minds and our heads as if you owned us!

I hate being owned.

So Megatron decided to keep you around. Why're you different? Why? Did you snag him too? You're not like the other femmes ...

You're too perfect.

You don't cry. You don't accuse us of looking down at you just-because-you're-female. You don't try to snuggle in the middle of a battle. You don't go into mad rages and beat everyone senseless. You don't try and persuade Rampage all he needs is a hug and a hobby like knitting. You're actually useful. You don't scratch or bite or try to seduce anyone except maybe Scorponok I mean you hang around enough with him, what's that all about why why him why not me?

No, I'm not jealous. I won't be jealous. I ...

I've got it bad, haven't I?

And here was I thinking BloodKatt was the worst thing on the planet for poor old me ...

Of all the unfair things ... if you weren't a marizu, I might actually like you. It'd be nice to have someone back at the base on our side, someone me and Waspy could come back to, someone who'd patch us up after Megatron or the Maximals have belted our bolts out for the hundredth time ...

Someone to come back to ...

Someone for me to come home to?

See? See what you do to me? We could have been friends. Now I've got to be in love with you.

It's not fair.

Why love? Of all the femmes, why do I have to be in love with you? Why do I have to fall for the one femme on the planet who's actually worth talking to? Why do I have to go all mushy inside over the femme who won't look at me twice?

Why? Why why why WHY?

Why couldn't it have been someone else? Why not Scorponok? Why not Inferno? Why not one of those dumb insects who never had to scrape femmes off them with a spatula? Why me? Isn't that slagging dragoness enough?

What can I do? Kill you? That won't ... Primus, I can't. I killed my own creator and now even thinking about hurting a parasite who's sucking all the reality out of my mind makes my spark do funny little backflips, the way it does when I stall out and the ground comes up way too fast.

You're like the ground. I look down and smack splatter my brains all over the place. I can't think about anything other than you.

It used not to be so bad. So the DarkClaws smacked us about and made life hell. So BloodKatt turned up and I had to go hide from my shadow. Big deal. I could live with it.

Poor Waspy ...

But you, now, you ... you come along and change everything. At least before there was calm amongst the turbulence. Now it's all one long storm of ups and downs and why didn't you and why won't you and why can't I and why why why do I have to feel this way?

You're an alien thing from somewhere else, turning me into someone else. You're changing me, changing what I am inside. If you change me enough, do I need a new name? Who am I gonna be when you're done with me?

Primus, and I thought my creator was bad.

Primus has a sense of humour and he likes irony. I, the art-work, the prestige creation, have fallen for the misencegenation of an alien spirit and what looks like the body of my very ugly best friend.

Seriously. You're hideous. That purple is way too much. Maybe if it was a little bluer, a little cooler, a little shinier ... ah, who cares? I love you and I hate it.

No, wait for the finish, it gets funnier.

I'm in love with a marizu and I'm beginning to like it.

Seriously.

You look at me like I'm a person. I'm not a statue, not a dumb minion, not an enemy. I'm a blank slate for you to draw big hearts with arrows through them all over.

Terrorsaur hauled himself out of the CR tank.

"Terror-bot lazy!" Waspinator scolded from overhead. "While Terror-bot sleeping like prototype, bee-bot go out to fight winged cat-bot."

"She'll get mangled!" Terrorsaur heard himself exclaim, loudly and with shock. "BloodKatt's far to strong for her to take on alone!"

Waspinator's wings sagged. "Terror-bot wants Waspinator to help him fight winged cat-bot?"

"You'd do that? For me?"

Waspinator looked away uncomfortably, wings drooping even more. "Waspinator would do it for bee-bot," he sighed ruefully.

You and me both, Waspy ... Terrorsaur's mouth slowly rose into a crooked, cruel smile. "Never mind, Waspy. I've got a plan ..."

"Terror-bot not get Waspinator blown up?"

"No, not this time. Where's Scorponok?"

I swear, Wayward, I'll save you. Just because you've made me love you ... doesn't mean you can't be a friend as well.