Raise your hand if you've read the filecard for BotCon Exclusive Buzzclaw or Dirge. See that first line? "[Name] is one of the few remaining members of the ancient Insecticon clan, a group of Transformer warriors dating back to the beginning of the Great Wars." Shrapnel and his sidekicks have been insufferable since they read that, strolling around in capes and telling anyone who will listen that they are part of an ancient Cybertronian clan and that they would like people to appease them with pudding cups. Venom's been having fits. If I believed in past lives, I'd wonder what I did in mine to deserve this ...

First, the questions from the official site:

Q: Is Optimus Prime older or younger than you?
A: Younger. Much, much younger. Put it this way - I knew the Liege Maximo when he still lived on Cybertron. Optimus Prime thinks a 'Liege Maximo' is a kind of fancy hat.

Q: Will Alternator Optimus Prime previewed at BotCon be made available to the public and will there be a Megatron Alternator?
A: The Optimus Prime Alternator will be out in spring or summer next year. I don't see them doing a Megatron one, at least certainly not as a gun. Maybe they could make a deal with DC and do a real Megatron-as-the-Batmobile toy.

Q: Is Snarl an Autobot or a Decepticon?
A: Liege.

Fine, Autobot. The human in charge of writing the listings had Snarl listed as a Decepticon at first, possibly to help Snarl with his infiltration of Scourge's court. This has been fixed, and Snarl is hoping that Scourge and his agents don't know about the Hasbro website.

Q: Who is Primus?
A: Whether you see him as a god or just as an incredibly powerful Transformer, Primus is not someone you want to be noticed by. He spends most of his time sleeping. On one hand, this is bad, because then it's up to us Transformers to fight Unicron all the time. On the other hand this is good, because whenever Primus manifests, bad things happen to anything less important than the universe itself.

Q: Who was Unicron?
A: 'Was', nothing. Unicron always is. Like Primus, Unicron is either a god or just a really powerful Transformer, depending on who you ask and what universe they're in. Unicron is generally seen as a Bad Thing, given his penchant for eating planets.

Q: Do you like Hot Shot?
A: Don't talk to me about Hot Shot.

And here are questions sent straight to the Insecticons:

Q: How, if at all, are "Beast Wars" Megatron and Optimus Primal related to "The Original Transformers" Megatron and Optimus Prime?
A: The "Original Transformers" were called "Diaclones". Or maybe "Microman".

Seriously, the only real connection is that Optimus Primal carried Optimus Prime's spark around for a while and Megatron II carried Megatron I's. It altered the structures of the two Beast Warriors. And there's whole similar/borrowed names thing, but that's all. It's not like Megatron II is Megatron I's nephew.

Q: Juju, the 2nd loviest pillbug in the universe, wants to know if there's a Huggy Pillbug Planet and, if so, what color is their Cyber Planet Key?
A: I like to think there aren't more huggy pillbugs, except I've seen them running in packs. Try as I might, I cannot envision their Cyber Keys to be anything but a cheerful pink, and the Cyber Planet Key shaped like a jelly doughnut.

Q: Do chicks really dig giant robots? Or has TV lied to me yet again?
A: All the chicks I know do indeed dig giant robots. Of course, all the chicks I know are Transfans or Transformers.

Q: What do you think of Blinky? Anything you could do for him?
A: Blinky is generally less irritating than his cousin Insecticons. Sometimes he hugs my arm, so I end up with Safeguard strapped to one vambrace and a pillbug strapped to the other. At this moment, one thing I could do for him is to rescue him from the pizza he rolled himself up in. The cheese has cooled and he is stuck.

Q: If you were to originally be named Alpha Trion ( info from BotCon panel ) who would Safeguard have been?
A: He might have still just been named Safeguard. But if Hasbro was aiming for homages, likely names might have been Orion, Sigma, and Key - though that last would get confusing with all the Cyber Keys floating around. Elita may have also been appropriate, except the name is currently being used by a lingerie company.

Q: How about giving him a whack at the questions?
A: Next time the official site doesn't update, I'll let Safeguard fill in.

Q: Is Primus a nice guy?
A: It depends on who you ask and how big a picture you look at. Ask the demons and Primus is a genocidal monster. Ask the Thirteen and Primus was nice enough to create them, but then ditched them to fend for themselves against demons and Unicron. Ask Xaaron and Primus is the thing that killed him by taking over his body and burning his mind out. Ask Optimus Prime and Primus is a cold, manipulative sneak who nearly got him killed by Unicron cultists. Ask Unicron and Primus is what stands between him and a peaceful universe. Ask the consciousness of the universe, and Primus is what keeps Unicron from killing it and the parts that make it up. Wayward likes to take the short-term view and threatens to hand out pamphets for the Church of Primus Is A Bastard.