Safeguard hasn't seemed to have burned the place down. Good.

No, wait. Bad. Now I have to answer your questions.

First, the questions from the official site:

Q: What are the names of the first Transformers?
A: The only ones you lot can be certain of are Prima and the Liege Maximo. 'The Fallen' isn't a name, because the others unnamed him after he tried to have them all killed by Unicron. Some people believe that the bartender Maccadam is one of the Thirteen, but other people believe those people are drunk out of their minds.

Q: What do the symbols on the Cyber Planet Keys stand for?
A: Truth, justice, honour, and loyalty.

Fine. It's the Ancient Cybertronian pictograph symbols for the names of the planets. Happy?

Q: When are EVAC and Backstop going to be released in the stores?
A: There's been EVAC sitings in Toronto. If Toronto has him, everyone has him. More importantly, when is Thunderblast going to arrive in stores?

Q: Why didn't you scan an Earth vehicle? Wouldn't it make you blend in better?
A: I'm old. I don't care what anyone thinks of what I look like.

Q: I have not been able to watch any television due to hurricane Wilma. Will the Cybertron episodes be rerun?
A: Wayward is annoyed that on Friday, they reran last week's episode instead of showing a new one. Reruns will happen. If you've got a good Internet connection, you can download episodes from the Hasbro site.

And here are questions sent straight to the Insecticons:

Q: What is your favourite alchoholic beverage?
A: High-octane energon resin with a splash of aluminised liquid hydrocarbon, slightly warmed.

Q: Has Starscream ever tried to get you to adopt his Minicons?
A: He has, once or twice, though they always went flying back to him. Besides, Safeguard gets jealous. You never heard such a row when the Recon Team started tagging along with me. He only lets them along because I don't powerlink with them.

Q: Can I, Ironbite, be your Minicon? Or perhaps your Cyber Key?
A: I suppose you're about the right size to be a Minicon, but you would need to upgrade a Minicon port to yourself and have the ability to unlock hidden potential in full-sized Transformers. You are absolutely the wrong shape to be a Cyber Key and I wouldn't trust you as one anyway. Do you realise where my Cyber Key port is?

Q: Can I play with Safeguard once and a while?
A: Safeguard doesn't like to be away from me for very long. He seems certain that as soon as he turns his back, I'll powerlink with another Minicon.

Q: In the Japanese version of Cybertron, also known as Galaxy Force it says that in order to travel through space and time you must have an erratic mind? Sooo …does that mean your mind is erratic?
A: That's a polite way of saying it. Time-travel is absolutely lunatic - now that I've lost the ability to see the past and future, I find I do better if I don't think about it and just act 'instinctively'. Besides, I'm old. Erraticness happens. I'd forget where my Minicon was if he wasn't clipped on.

Q: Do you have your own hot tub, or do you have to share with BW Megatron?
A: I have my own. Megatron's is far too small, though sometimes I have to fish Safeguard out of it.

Q: So other than Cybertron and Earth, is the universe entirely populated by planets given over entirely to one pursuit to the extent that they can be described with one adjective, like Speed Planet or Giant Planet?
A: No, thank goodness. While the monolithic cultures shown in the cartoon could be written off as bad storytelling, the actual answer is slightly more complicated. The only other worlds we see are ones inhabited by Transformers, and we can get ... rather set in our ways without outside intervention. On colony worlds without a Vector Sigma or other life-giving personality database, the only place to get new sparks from is from the sparks of existing Transformers. After a few million years, a colony that started small ends up a world populated by people who all think in similar ways. On Speed Planet, for instance, everyone is obsessed with being fast and will do anything to be hailed as the fastest racer. It manifests in different ways, of course - Clocker will upgrade while Ransack will cheat - but after all this time, their minds have become homogenised.

Q: If you get a "magic eight ball" for a crystal, who would be the first to get a crane and shake you up to get an answer?
A: Mrph. Given how often I get pasted by the Decepticons in Cybertron, my bet's on Thundercracker daring Mudflap to do it.

Q: Where did you get your sword?
A: I was created with it. Not all swords have exciting and mysterious origins.

Q: Why, out of all the Autobots on the show, do you seem to get beaten up the most?
A: The writers are biased against old robots. As back-up evidence, Landmine got smashed into a planet in the first episode and couldn't do anything for several after that. I expect something dreadful to happen to Brakedown sometime.

Q: Would you mind smacking Safeguard for me? I can't reach.
A: If I smack Safeguard, he'll sulk, and there are so many little ways a sulking Minicon can make my life miserable. Besides, he does my tech support.

Q: Why am I miserable?
A: You didn't smack a Minicon recently, did you?