Shrapnel says: Did Hasbro give up on this feature, or are they just having technical difficulties, difficulties? I keep getting a 'this page doesn't exist' page when I try to access the Fan Forum, forum.

Does this mean I can stop?

We don't stop until our Loyal Readers stop sending us questions. And if it is just technical difficulties, we'll be having a mini-update off-schedule, schedule.

Imagine my joy.

Thus, here are the questions Shrapnel claims were in my inbox:

Q: Which of the Insecticons do you most dislike or are they all about the same?
A: They all have their bad points. Kickback's always hanging around, Shrapnel keeps lying about my e-mails and saying people want me to feed the bugs, Venom seems to think I want to take over his job - whatever it is - and Chopshop keeps trying to steal Safeguard. I would have to say that Bombshell is the worst one, though. He keeps hinting that he once tagged me with a cerebro-shell, and he's just waiting for the right moment to activate it.

Q: After pondering over your answers for my string of Junk Planet questions something has come to mind. Each planet's "Cyber Planet Key"/"Force Chip" ( whichever series you care to follow ) is relatively different, and some characters even have their own unique "Cyber Planet Key"/"Force Chip". I've been trying to imagine a Junk Planet Cyber Key, and figured out it's dominant colour would be orange, considering that is a primary colour associated with Junkions. However there are two problems I've run into while designing the Junk Planet key: 1) orange is also the colour of Planet X's key and 2) the only emblem I can think of for the Junk Planet is a gear, which is already in use by Giant Planet. Now, as you are the bearer of infinite rumour and magic eight-ball powers, do you have any suggestions for Key design?
A: Around here, we tend to follow Cybertron naming conventions rather than Galaxy Force ones, but are capable of understanding both. Unless specifically asked for Galaxy Force terminology, we answer with Cybertron terms. So use whichever you prefer in your questions.

As for the colour, possibly a dark, rusty, orange-red would work, darker than the candy-colours of Speed Planet and Planet X's Keys. This isn't very cheating, as my own Cyber Key is light blue and Earth's is dark blue. As for the symbol, a wrench might work, with spiked wheels for part of the rim design, with more spikes on the other side.

Q: If you could turn into anything, what would you turn into?
A: I'm rather fond of my ancient spacecraft model. I used to be something like a car, so this was an upgrade.

He wishes his alt-mode was a hot tub so swimsuit models would sit in him all day, all day.

Q: Why can't Ultra Magnus deal with it?
A: Maybe you shouldn't ask him to multitask when he's trying to save your life, Springer.

Q: So, which is worse: a sulking Minicon or an Insecticon at the height of his "career"?
A: In general, Insecticons. They have a greater carrying capacity. But I'd rather deal with all ten of the Insecticons than Safeguard in a bad mood.

Q: Vector Prime-san, do you have anything to do with Yuzhan-Vong hatred for machines ( or with R.A. Salvatore at all? )
A: The only thing I have common with R.A. Salvatore is that he was the one who wrote a Star Wars novel called Vector Prime. While I have not read it, I know it would only be improved if it were about me.

Speaking of science fiction authors, I ran across one of Saberhagen's Berserkers once. Transformers rather confuse them. The one I encountered unfortunately decided that the fact I was alive overruled the fact I was a robot and attacked me. We already knew that organics find the idea of living robots hard to comprehend, and apparently robots do as well.

Q: Do you get compensated for the work you do? If so, how?
A: I don't get compensated by the Autobots. I get room, board, and all the backhandings Megatron feels like giving. At In Space, I get a hot tub and all the pillbug hugs I can stand. When I first started here, I told Wayward I wanted to be paid in swimsuit models. I didn't realise at the time that the Insecticons look for any excuse to put on bikinis.

Q: What do you think/feel about the fact that Hasbro owns you?
A: It could be worse. I might have been owned by Tonka twenty years ago and been a Go-Bot.

Insert your own joke about Veccy getting owned by the Decepticons every episode, sode.

Q: What do I ( as a human ) need to make a Transformer?
A: If you mean a toy, it will require engineering skills, sculpting skills, carving tools, a small set of screwdrivers, wax or clay for the initial sculpts, plastic for the casting, and moulds to cast the parts. If you mean a real, living Transformer, you need either a Cybertronian factory or Primus.