You know, when I say things in this column like, 'don't eat firecrackers' or 'don't write a slashfic involving me and the Insecticons,' you really aren't supposed to do those things.

Shrapnel says: Eeheeheeheehee!

Next I'll hear that someone ate firecrackers and I'll get blamed for it.

Tell them, 'don't send the Insecticons buckets of pudding', pudding!

Haven't we got questions to answer?

Q: Would you like a picture I made for you? ( I promise it's not bad. )
A: Oh my.

Because we can't seem to download the Bitmap image properly to show the rest of you, I'll just tell you that it's Arcee in a carwash. All right, you can send this sort of thing.

Q: When you are on the set doing a scene, have you ever "accidentally" done something?
A: Me? Never. I am a responsible and dignified Autobot who would never, ever do anything to inconvenience or humiliate his fellows.

However, Minicons have no such compunctions and can fit through air vents. So I may have "accidentally" mentioned to Safeguard that I wouldn't mind if, say, Starscream's can of armour polish had dormant rust spores seeded in it. Wherupon Safeguard very deliberately goes off and does my bidding.

Q: Do the Insecticons have any nicknames for you, like 'Veccy'?
A: 'Veccy' was started by Safeguard and the Insecticons adopted it. Some other names that he Insecticons call me are 'Lying Old Man', 'The Living Eight-Ball', and 'Make Safeguard Stop Kicking Me'.

Q: You mentioned the Insecticons love to dress in bikinis. Have they "persuaded" other TFs to wear the stylish swimwear?
A: If you check the Insecticomics archives, you'll find various instances of other characters in swimsuits, though offhand, I think Starscream was the only one they forced.

Q: If Megatron were and Autobot instead of a Decepticon, and he were fully dedicated, who would the most likely person be to take the Decepticon reigns?
A: Someone with a short life-expectancy. Megatron the Autobot would be as dangerous an opponant as Megatron the Decepticon. Shockwave and Starscream seem to have been there from the beginning, though neither would have the same ability to lead as Megatron, and I don't see them teaming up without killing each other the next day. Possibly the Decepticons would have split into two factions, making them less effective than they are today.

Q: Who is the most powerful Transformer ever? ( Not including Primus, Unicron, the Liege Maximo or Starscream hopped up on his choice of cyber-crack for the week. )
A: Prima. Though given your 'not fair' list, naming him would be cheating. The Fallen as well.

I'm one of the more powerful ones, depending on various factors - I'm at a low ebb in Cybertron. There's G1 Megatron, who can sometimes channel the power of a black hole. And G1 Galvatron, who is Megatron with the brakes off. Or possibly Tigerhawk, emissary of the Vok. And then there's the DreamWave version of Sunstorm, who was apparently rather powerful. Or the Last Autobot, who could raise the dead. Or Megatron from Beast Machines, who not only commanded Cybertron itself, but also all the sparks trapped on it. Or Megatron from Energon, who was able to fight Unicron though sheer willpower.

Hrm. Lots of Megatrons in there.

Though I think I'll give this one to someone none of you would think of - Boltax, a neutral from the comics, who did not live in the Temple of Knowledge, because he was the Temple of Knowledge - his robot body was merely a puppet-drone. The Temple, by the way, was also known as the Underbase, which was tied directly to the core of Cybertron and unfettered could destroy all life on a planet it merely touched the atmosphere of. Just because Boltax never used his power to kill anyone doesn't make him less powerful.

Q: Why is Transformers: Cybertron so heavily riddled with accents that my ears bleed?
A: Perhaps you have weak ears. But the real reason is probably more like, "Hasbro wanted the cast to be diverse, so instead of putting effort into real personality, they did accents." Such are dubs.

Q: Why are you so shiny?
A: I'm pretty sure someone already asked this ...

They did! What do you think this is, the official site? We don't recycle questions here. Except when we get a filler issue or we forget.

Q: Why HasTak aint makes any new "base-type" transformers,like Triptycon or Fort Max? I mean- If they don`t have cool robot mode look(wich i seriously doubt), the city mode could still act az l337 background for my tf collection display(or as stand for part of it)...
A: ... Shrapnel, I refuse to answer this until you run it through the spellcheck.

Shrapnel says: Fine, Mr Picky, picky ...

Ahem: "Why have Hasbro/Takara failed to create any new 'base-type' Transformers, such as in the tradition of Trypticon and Fortress Maximus? To elucidate, even if their robot-modes fail to be stunning, the city-mode may still act as either background or stand for a portion of my Transformers collection display." Happy?

Happier. It isn't as if the Powers That Be haven't been making large Transformers for a few years now - Unicron, Omega Supreme, Ludicrous-Sized Starscream, and the upcoming Metroplex, for examples. Most likely, they just don't think a baseformer would sell.

Q: What if I don't have a Thunderblast toy yet?
A: Then get one. And don't think I'll forgive you for that slashfic.

Q: Who's more annoying: Wheelie, Blurr, or Mudflap?
A: I find I can't see Wheelie as that annoying. He's like Jolt with rhymes, and I'm used to Jolt. Since I'm a spacecraft, I have a very fast processor, and thus can understand Blurr perfectly well. By default that leaves Mudflap, but I don't mind his voice. It's the hitting me that gets on my nerves.