Our friends at Seibertron.Com panicked this week and thought that the the official site put up new questions. This caused us a five-second flurry of activity to verify that, as usual, there was no update. We live in hope, too.

Q: A question and a correction.
- Is Rumble red and Frenzy blue?
Also, Powerglide is the one who used "sheepicrons". Did it in "The Master Builder", in reference to Grapple and Hoist being hit on by the Constructicons.
A: 1) In the toys and comics, yes.

2) Like I can keep track of the tangled mess that is G1.

Q: What if my Vector Prime follows in your footsteps ( as in, also answers question like you )?
A: If you plan on running your own parody version of Ask Vector Prime A Question on the Internet, you are going to spend the rest of your life getting "Insecticons.com already did this" e-mails. Our fanbase is small, but loyal. If this is just at home, go ahead.

Q: Greetings from a liberal American, O old perverted Autobot,
The first two questions this time are continuations of questions numbers 3 and 4 in my last email.
1. I meant an Alternate Universe where the Insecticons somehow defeat Galvatron in battle. Have you ever found one?
2. What would happen if you weren't there to protect Sideways?
3. If all the Transformers in Cybertron with vehicle alt modes were forced to choose animal alt modes, what would they choose?
4. If Kickback absorb the sparks of the apartment Transformers with insect modes, ala Optimus Primal and Megatron in Beast Wars and Megatron in Beast Machines, how tall and how powerful would he become, and would his alt mode change?
A: 1) Everything Happens Somewhere. Yes.

2) Then Sideways would get the tar beaten out of him.

3) Ideally, the colonists would have alien animal modes, such as Undermine's whatever-he-is, but I don't see that happening.

Hot Shot - A cheetah. He's already Cheetor-of-Cybertron.
Landmine - A scorpion, because Wayward has insisted that backhoes look like scorpions since before Energon. ( I know he's not a backhoe. )
Jetfire - A goose. It's big, it flies, and something about Jetfire makes me think of water landings.
Optimus Prime - I don't know. Maybe an elephant. They spray water, and there's some precedent in that there was a mammoth Prime once.
Overhaul - A badger. He already looks like one. The whole 'Leobreaker' thing never made sense.
Scattorshot - A meerkat or some other nervous, twitchy kind of animal.

Jolt - A fat little bee. Helicopters make good hymenopterans.
Reverb - A beetle.
Safeguard - A seagull, though he'd rather be a cat.
Six-Speed - Probably another beetle, just to match Reverb.
Vector Prime - An albatross. They're big, white, and have a long flight-range.

Starscream - A hawk. Decepticon jets are invariably predatory birds.
Thundercracker - Something like Starscream, but smaller.

Brakedown - A mountain goat. Or possibly a garden gnome.
Clocker - A small cat. Something about him reminds me of Wayward's cat.
Crumplezone - I'm thinking a bull.
Override - The Insecticons insist she would be a wind scorpon, based on the shape of her alt-mode.
Ransack - A rat, because he's like Rattrap's stupid and evil twin.

Evac - A large wasp. With a grappling hook.
Lugnutz - Lugnutz doesn't get enough air-time to make any kind of guess.
Thunderblast - A dolphin. They're small, aquatic, and 'sing'.

Sideways - A jumping spider. With his warp ability, he moves like one.
Soundwave - A kangaroo, because of the pouch, but mostly to get indignant "Soundwave would be a cool animal!" e-mails.

Menasor - Remember the American version of Godzilla that looked like a big iguana? Like that.

Anyone not listed means that I couldn't think of anything before deadline. However, the other Gigantians would also be dinosaurs.

4) If it happens in the same way as it did in Beast Wars, Kickback would probably not change his species, and would end up, oh, a third of the size of the most powerful person he absorbed. Of the Insecticons, that would be Shrapnel, making Kickback about the size of a Minicon. He would, however, be quite powerful.

Q: Hello Vector Prime-san,
Lately I've been wondering why are the answers you give at In Space are way more in character than ones at Hasbro site? ( Hmmm ... Maybe THAT is the reason no one writes there?.. )
And how have Gasket ( you probably know him as Ransack ) have managed to acquire THE Fusion Canon?
P.S. How do you think about your column being translated into my native language and posted at our TF site?
A: It's in-character ( well, closer than the official site anyway ) for the first ten episodes of Cybertron or so, before I mellowed out and became Friend To All Children. And that isn't the fusion cannon, or we would be short most of our Cybertron Autobots. Ransack stole that cannon from Knock-Off Megatron, who is easily pushed over.

As in this is something that's already being done or as in something you're asking permission for? If you would like to, go ahead. As long as there's a link back to In Space, we don't mind.

Q: Dear Vector Prime:
What are these demons you keep referring to? How can I find out more about them? Are they pre-Warring-states-era ( Sesshomaru-style ) Yokai, or are they Espers run amok, or something else entirely?
A: Demons are not actually anything supernatural. The name 'demon' was given to them merely because we had to call them something and because they are vicious. They were the original inhabitants of Cybertron, before Primus arrived and turned it metal. More about them can be found here.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
What is the extension of organic influence on Beast Warriors' bodies?
A: With few exceptions, zero. The only one who ever showed any of his beast traits was Inferno. Otherwise, Blackarachnia would be timid, Scorponok would be a hunter, Waspinator would be vicious, Rhinox would be surly, Depth Charge would be placid ... Fanfiction writers, take note - Beast Warriors, ninety-nine percent of the time, act nothing like the animals they look like.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
Do you ever keep in touch with the other orignal Thirteen Transformers? At least, the ones who are still alive ...
A: Yes, though generally we try to avoid one another.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
Is there any truth to the rumor that you allowed Safeguard to participate in one of Michael Jackson's sleepovers at Neverland Ranch?
A: None.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
I'm in a bit of pickle. I have a ... friend who has begun to develop certain emotions towards an Autobot. Now I - I mean, my friend, realises that this can never, ever work out, as he realises that Transformers have no true gender. However, as much as I - HE! HE tries to hammer this fact into his brain, he still finds that these emotions remain, and are in fact growing. Keeping this hidden from the object of his affections is difficult, as he lives in her brain and she can read his mind. What I'm asking is, how do I - I mean, my FRIEND, how does he deal with this, barring castration? Please, for the love of god, help me - HIM! HELP HIM!
- Daniel Witwicky, circa 2015.
A: We've been doing quite well with our lack of gender for millions of years, thank you. Lack of gender isn't really a barrier. Things such as the species difference and the helicopter/car fellow might be. It would probably be best for this friend of yours to have a long talk with the object of his affections now, instead of accidentally blurting out his feelings at some inopportune time. You may also wish to look up a Charlene from the Marvel comics, who might be able to sympathise with this plight.

Q: What was the most primitive Earthen vehicle a Transformer ever used as it's vehicle mode?
A: I suppose things such as dinosaurs and disco balls don't count, hm? At this point, the most primitive vehicles would be those trains and such from the upcoming Hearts of Steel miniseries. Too far back, and the only vehicles that have sufficient mass to disguise a Transformer would be boats. Though a horse-and-chariot Duocon might be interesting and I like the idea of Megatron as a catapult.

And we continue to count down the Movie questions:

Who's he?

First Prime, then Ultra Magnus ... What do we do?

What was that universal greeting again?

Bah weep grah nah wheep nini bah?

How'd you learn to talk like that?

( Cover scan taken from TVcrazy.net. )

You talk some TV?