Hey, Cannonball, this bandwagon left a year and a half ago. Pirates - entertaining, but a bit behind the times. That's probably where you all are, anyway. Be sure to ask him why Hasbro reuses names and what he thinks of various animes.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
Where is the Planet of Open-Minded Supermodels? It doesn't appear on any of my star charts.
- Cosm - err - A Stellar Cartographer
A: This is because the Planet of Open-Minded Supermodels lies on the other side of a temporal wormhole that can only be travelled once a year due to plot contrivances, unless you use Megatron's space-bridge, which no Autobot has the sense to do.

Wait, no, that was Gigantion.

Q: Autobot Eight-Ball!
If the big white guy from Classics who turns into a big white Nerf gun is Megatron, who am I? Bludgeon? Megastorm? Alternatively, if I'm Megatron, is he Galvatron? Where will my quest for an independant identity end?
- The smaller green guy from Classics who turns into a tank who gets his face kicked by the aforementioned big white guy who turns into a big white Nerf gun whenever he tries to call himself Megatron. PS. Do I now hold the record for the longest name on your page? If not, should I try harder? Am I being paid by the question mark?
A: You are also Megatron. Somehow. Maybe you're a fanboy like Beast Wars Megatron who just named himself after G1 Megatron. But if the larger Megatron disagrees, I believe the proper Decepticon thing to do in these circumstances is kill him. If this is not possible, join the line of Decepticons trying to kill and replace Megatron. You're number three hundred fifty-eight on that list, right after Reflector for forgetting that he existed.

Q: Dear Vector Prime
Is Classics Optimus drunk or what? He's floppy. We tried giving him Viagra but that just made his gun transform.
Classics Rodimus, Worried, Australia.
A: Sometimes a thin coat of clear nail polish or superglue on a joint ( such as the ball part of a ball-and-socket joint - don't glue the entire joint ) can tighten things up. My brief encounter with Ultimate Battle Optimus Prime tells me that he's probably doomed to floppiness.

I see that look. 'Encounter' as in 'he was at the apartment for a day or two before he was shipped off to his buyer'.

Q: Vector Prime,
I have in my hand some, how shall I say, incriminating photos of you seeking out Minicons to Powerlink with.
If you give me 10,000 Energon cubes, I can make sure they don't end up falling into the wrong hands. You wouldn't want that to happen now, would you?
G1 Swindle
A: The wrong hands is presumeably Safeguard, who, like many people, has heard of Photoshop.

Q: Hey, welcome back. Hope you had a nice Christmas Break.
One of your “one in a million chance” lines involved the Fallen getting a toy. Now he is. So, what do you think of having another nemesis? And of the fig?
And what’ll replace that?
A: The whole universe is my nemesis. Paint it black and give it red optics.

The figure looks to be one of the better ones from the Titaniums line and his 'on fire' detailing is quite nice. His sigil might have been made a bit more stylised, however - as it is, it looks a bit strange that he tattooed his own image on himself. He would have also worked better in a Mega or Ultra size. Not that I want him anywhere near me.

All right, so they made a Fallen toy. The next one on the chance in a million list is Straxus. And not like they did with Jhiaxus - Straxus looking as he did in the comic, as near as plastic and updates can make him. That won't happen. And if it does, it will horrify the Insecticons, so everyone wins.

Q: Vector Prime,
People keep mistaking me for my brother, and I can't stand it. Do you have any suggestions?
Fastlane
A: You could write your name on yourself. The Transmetal Beast Warriors seemed to think it worked.