Just pretend I said something clever here. I'm too hung over for banter.

Q: RUSTBUCKET!
How come my alternate incarnation in this ‘apartment’ hasn’t upgraded himself into the masterpiece body?
Cl starscream
A: Kiss your factory with that mouth? Someone in Masterpiece size wouldn't fit in with the rest of the cast and Wayward isn't completist about Starscreams.

Q: Dear The Old Guy With a Sword:
Do you know where I can find a support group for Decepticons with speech disorders?
--Snowcat
A: I'm told that Mixmaster runs one out of his workshop on alternate Thursdays. Don't drink the punch.

Q: 1. How did Blinky lose his memory?
2. How did you get to the apartment in the first place?
3. What is Safeguard's favorite thing to do?
--The League of Irrelevant Questions
A: 1) It involved a frying pan to the back of the head.

2) I came under my own power, as seen in Insecticomic #083.

3) He likes to sleep on my arm. His second favourite thing is to bite people he doesn't like.

Q: Dear Vector Prime,
After doing some research about animals, I find that these earthling animal (real and mythological) suit the Transformers: Forever characters best:
Megatron: hydra (The nine-headed snake from Greek myth)
Thunderclash: Californian condor
Dreadmoon: kraken (giant squid)
Sharapnel: winged tuatara (three-eyed from New Zealand)
Optimus Prime: lion
Den Alpha: elephant
Magnus: white-tailed kite
Whisper: rabbit
What do you think of my choices?
A: Alpha complains that she'd rather be a rhino. The choice of Dreadmoon as a squid is one that makes Wayward giggle for obscure reasons that she doesn't intend to explain. That particular Optimus is nothing like a lion. Possibly one of the more timid species of spider might better suit him.